A Blunt Beginning…

Let me start by telling you why I started a blog. I spoke with a new friend of mine about how I started writing a book. It is a basic go to guide on how to pick up a guy, whip a douche, tricky situations between friends and more then friends, and basically how to hold your own. She brilliantly suggested I should blog about all my experiences that happen as I go on writing this book during my insomnia spare time. After the weekend we conquered we thought, who wouldn’t want to hear about all the advice I had to offer. Walking away from the mass amount of eerie men who were walking circles around us (yes they blatantly walk in rounds because they think we either don’t see them or we actually enjoy getting stalked), to picking up 2 Aussie men at 3 am for some drunk grub, and after a night in Hollywood ending it with the booty calls sitting at home waiting for us, it was highly productive. The in-between actions is where I come to play. How to get away? Who to text and what to say? How to pick up the guy you actually want and dismiss the one you don’t? I am not much of a writer, but I am a great talker so my goal is to put my words down on computer and hope to make sense.

How many of you have said, “Wow, I can’t believe he turned out to be such a douche bag”? That amazing, sweet guy, we meet that gives us those butterflies and attention but by the end of your “thing” you are either blasting Alanis Morisette in your room, confessing your hate for him through facebook, or sitting with lots of alcohol in your hand sharing stories with your girlfriends. Why I say “thing” is because you never truly knew or discussed where you stood. If you did, it usually went like this: him- “I’m not looking for a relationship right now, I just want to have fun and see where things go” you- “yeah totally me too”. Maybe for that moment or that bit of time you are cool with it, but when it continues to stay there it gets extremely cloudy and unclear. Then you either make him disappear by continuing to ask about it, act like his girlfriend, or realize he told you up-front he didn’t want a relationship. Maybe you’re the girl in the opposite position where you don’t want to be a bitch and hurt his feelings. All I can say is if you’re honest its up to him if he wants to involve himself with you. Ready for a cliche: honesty is the best policy. A lot of time those platonic feelings change and you are stuck in a boat with a boy who doesn’t want you to leave after sex and all you wanna do is sneak out the minute he falls asleep because your sexual need was taken care of. Now you have a clingy needer on your hands, my heart goes out to you. The answer… we will get to all that later.

While you are sitting here reading this, I can bet almost all of you have either looked at your cell phone to see if “the guy” texted you, refreshed your email for new messages that aren’t there, or stalked his facebook page and the people that wrote on his wall. STOP! Why are you giving up all your female power and handing it over to him with out him knowing? Trust me, he knows you are interested in him. So here we go, if you have related to any of the above, what is yet to come is going to be hard. I am going to ask you to drop the phone, drop any of your old way of thinking, and be prepared and open minded for ways to interact with men. First things first, understanding Guy Code, The Chase, how to pick your men, ways to not scare guys off and more. After that its all about taking action; how to get the guy, lines to say with out being lines, ways to make him want you through the phone and in person, the sexual time line. It’s not just about how to look, and what to say, I am not trying to turn you into a robot. I am here to give you the tools to be your own person. A relationship with someone is about being equals, not one person a rock star and the other a groupie. A lot of the time girls start off equals, or maybe even more powerful but lose themselves along the way. Women are known for being sensitive creatures and thats why a lot of the time guys get away with most of the shit they do, because we let them. A little secret, most guys are equal or maybe more sensitive then we are. Don’t let your head tell you things, clear it out, and know you don’t have to be less then for anyone. Yes having a guy come over at midnight every Saturday when he’s wasted after being out all night with other girls and guys makes us feel good at that 12 o clock hour, but the chaoticness and stress up until those hours suck. The after, when he bounces, sucks even more. You deserve better. Yes, you like him so much that you’re okay with being his chitty chitty bang bang because at least you’re getting some kind of attention from him, but wouldn’t you want to be invited to go out with him before that midnight ring? It’s time to get honest with yourself.

The Game: “a form of play or sport, esp. a competitive one played according to rules and decided by skill, strength, or luck.” I give you this definition because that is exactly what you will be doing, playing a game. Dating, relationships, hook ups, it is all a game and what to come is all the plays you can put together for your playbook. Since you hopped on this site, I am going to assume you are stepping up to bat and usually striking out. That does not mean just getting rejected after the initial hello, it can also mean getting completely and utterly screwed over after an actual relationship fling. We always hear girls saying, “he’s such a player” but when do you ever hear a guy calling a girl out on playing him? Very rarely. Why you ask? Because girls let themselves get played with out realizing it. It all becomes about pleasing the guy, making sure he is happy, and doing what ever it takes for him to like you. By doing all those things you are scaring the poor boy away, and taking what ever feelings he is developing for you and throwing them down the drain.

People say all the time, “I don’t want to play games.” That is understandable to a point. Where have you seen someone introduce themselves saying, “hello, you’re attractive, I want you to be my girlfriend” and that was it? They were boyfriend and girlfriend at that moment, planned phone call times, knew when and what dates they would go on together, when your first kiss would take place on which date and when you would be having sex. That is extremely boring, as to why it doesn’t happen. There is the first initial chat, exchange of numbers, the staring at the phone for hours waiting for that someone to call,  the spontaneous dates, the phone call you make to all your friends when they don’t respond to a text after you send it, and then the butterflies in the stomach when you do hear back, first time you kiss, and the time he introduces you to all his friends. The second scenario has its up and downs, but those ups are major highs and those lows are three tissue boxes and The Notebook on your television. If you’re in a book store right now I dare you to ask the first male you see which situation is more appealing to them. Bet you anything he goes with the second scenario.

The game has different degrees. The whole point of a game is turn the other person on, not off, that is where the bench warmer becomes the pro. When someone doesn’t want to play games it usually is referred to the amount of time they don’t want to spend. Every action has a time line. For example, figuring out what to text on a phone and then after a response, having to wait to text back. It is exhausting having to calculate the minutes, and figuring out what every word the person says means (including between the lines). It also goes along with how many days until you can call a person after the first exchange of numbers, or first date. What game you play decides how exact you are to those time lines. Next to come is all about the chase, and how to pick up the man you want. My goal isn’t to just tell you things not to do, its to give you the tools and advice on what to do.

---